It’s not that I’m impatient…

…I just have to recalibrate my expectations when things do not come to fruition the way that I want them to, or at least expected them to.

It’s hard to adult. It’s even harder to adult when you suspect you have Asperger’s/Autism.

We started the remortgage process back in June. Paul just kept telling me that it moves at a glacial speed and to not expect it to go quickly. The mortgage advisor said that all going well, it should complete by the end of July, mid-August at latest. So, my mental goal post of the 1st of September, I thought, was a reasonable deadline to have this all complete. Just over two weeks ago, we had to take in yet another piece of identification to prove who we were and our address (regulations changed at some point in July and we had to provide it, so we couldn’t really complain), and she told us that the mortgage offer would go out to the solicitors on Monday and that we should hear back from the solicitors by Wednesday to arrange the completion date. I don’t think I’m wrong to take someone at their word, so I did. The rest of that week went by without word. The majority of the following week went by with no contact from the solicitors. So, I decided to ring up and find out what the situation was. It did not appear that the solicitors received anything from the bank. Now, things had already been delayed slightly because our mortgage advisor had been on holiday for a few weeks and nothing had been done in her absence. I emailed her to find out what’s happened, and it seemed to me like she’d only sent it across to the solicitors that day (judging by the date on the electronic documents sent to me). It all seemed so, “Oh dear! Did that not come through?” so casual and cavalier and I’m just thinking, “this is my life here. Please do not just treat it like a little miscommunication. I’m less than impressed. Now, the 1st of September is tomorrow and I have to completely recalibrate my mind into thinking it’ll all be completed by the 1st of October. I don’t like this feeling that I’m being an impatient brat, but I have been very patient living in this situation as long as I have done and I’m ready for it to be over already, and when it feels like the motion in the process is under someone else’s control and I am completely powerless, it’s extremely frustrating when it feels like no one else is treating it with even a shred of the urgency with which we would like this to be completed. I don’t even know if what I’m saying makes any sense; I’m just decanting the thoughts out. It’s been a busy week and it’s taken me a while to write another blog because my energy reserves have been tested to the limit at work and when I get home, I need quiet and non-thinking time to recharge. I’m hoping that now that I’ve prodded the process along that we’ll finally get a completion date soon and I can relax a bit, knowing that the end is in sight. I’m keen for Paul’s and my life alone with each other to begin, and I’m losing patience that this hasn’t happened already. I don’t need a lecture or anything… I just needed to rant and that is what I’ve done.

Sorry that this post isn’t probably the most engaging or interesting… hopefully my subsequent posts will be a bit better.


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